Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Carry Me, Daddy!

...and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place. Deuteronomy 1:31
"Carry me!" Our Patrick is quite fond of this phrase, and even our little Olivia is now squeaking it out. They're little. They're weak. They tire easily. And when their legs can't carry them any further, they know that their daddy is willing and able.

It's been quite some time since I was carried by my daddy, but I still long for the feeling of safety and security and relief that those strong arms so faithfully offered. I may have long ago outgrown my earthly father's arms, but I will always fit perfectly into those of my heavenly Father. And over the past several weeks, I have been blessed enough to have experienced that first hand.

It really is true that when it rains, it pours! The past several weeks have been incredibly trying. And while we have been so joyously blessed with lots of new and exciting things, those blessings have also come with some not so fun side effects. We found out that we're expecting again(!), which has been so exciting, but of course, has brought "morning" sickness. We moved to a new house, which we love, but of course has required the very tiring (especially when you're pregnant) task of packing, moving and unpacking. On top of all that commotion, I managed to come down with a very nasty cough, which kept me awake throughout the night for about 2 weeks. Within 2 days of getting over the cough, I caught Patrick's cold and have been painfully riding that out for the last week or so. Thankfully, I do have to say that, while the morning sickness seemed to be very bad for about 2 weeks, it just disappeared once the cough started and hasn't come back!

Needless to say, I have been T I R E D!

Well, somewhere between moving and morning sickness (before I even knew the cough and cold were coming), I just knew that I was going to need supernatural help. And not just getting through the day to day stuff. I had lost the strength and desire to spend time in the Word. Every time I would pull out my bible and my study materials (maybe I just try to do too much), I would feel such an overwhelming sense of weakness and helplessness and just could not focus to actually study God's word.

At that point, I pulled out my prayer journal and started talking to God. I flat out told him what He already knew, which was that I was exhausted! And that I simply did not have the strength to walk with him anymore, at least not for now. I knew so well the dangers of growing apart from God and desperately did not want that. But I also knew that I just could not muster the strength to "walk".

And so I begged. I begged Him to carry me.

And the miraculous thing is that he did!

I could not walk with him, and so he carried me. For six weeks, he has carried me through the Christian walk. He has spoon fed his Word to me when I could not feed myself. My husband read to me. The perfect verses showed up from friends on my Twitter feed, on Facebook, in emails, on my iPhone's YouVersion daily Bible verse and in music.

I may have stopped "eating", but I have not gone hungry.

You would expect that during a time when I was barely eating, in a sense, I might be hanging on by a thread to the Lord, not really thriving; and yet, the opposite was true. I have felt a closeness with Him that is so beautifully refreshing. One night, while I was so desperately sick, sitting on the bed sobbing and debating whether to go to urgent care, as Luke prayed for me, I felt as if Jesus was sitting right there on the bed with me. I cannot explain how tangible his presence felt, as if he was right there with me and with Luke, saying, "I know. I understand how you feel. I'm right here. I love you. And I'm not going anywhere." The tears only poured out harder as I rested in his arms, so to speak.

I would never advocate giving up reading your Bible. We need the sustenance that it provides if we are going to survive. But I am so encouraged and renewed, having experienced the sustaining power of a great and mighty God.
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4


  1. Hi, Nice post thanks for sharing. Would you please consider adding a link to my website on your page. Please email me back.



    1. Hi Randy. Thanks for commenting. What's your website? I am very careful about the resources I promote on here. I typically don't even post links to friends' blogs that I personally enjoy, just because when I am representing such a serious topic of Bible prophecy and how the end times affect our daily lives, I want to make sure that the resources I provide on here are professional, pertain specifically to this topic, and are biblically sound. But I would be happy to take a look. Thanks!

  2. Oh I cried when I read your post Tarrah...partially because my heart hurt for your plight, and partially because like usual, I am encouraged by your words and your transparency.

    1. Thank you Leah! It is an ongoing struggle, and one that I'm sure we all have a hard time with occasionally. My quiet times have been so sweet again, though it is still a daily struggle with the flesh making that time my first priority.