Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Lie No. 23: My Husband Is Supposed To Serve Me

A disclaimer: A wife is not to be her husband's slave, and a husband, under no circumstance, is ever to be a tyrannical king on his throne, never lifting a finger to serve his family. Having said that, and understanding that this is not the case for most of us, consider these words from Lies Women Believe:

"In the past couple of decades, there has been a significant movement challenging men to become men of God, to love their wives and children, and to express that love through sacrifice and service. What an encouragement it has been to see God stirring men and turning their hearts toward Him and toward their homes. However, in the midst of this emphasis, we women need to be careful that we do not lose sight of the primary roles God has given us to fulfill...

The Truth is that God did not make the man to be a 'helper' to the woman. He made the woman to be a 'helper' to the man. Of course, this does not mean that men are not to serve their wives and children. If men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, there must be the willingness to lay down their lives and become servants, even as Christ did for His bride.

But if we as women focus on what we 'deserve,' on our 'rights,' or on what men 'ought' to do for us, we will become vulnerable to hurt and resentment when our expectations are not fulfilled. Blessing and joy are the fruit of seeking to be a giver rather than a taker and of looking for ways to bless, serve, and minister to the needs of our families." p. 142-143

While the feminist movement, and as a result, the majority of women today, would like to look at the role of a housewife as demeaning and worthless, nothing more than unfair bondage, we must remember the value that God places on women as a result of their work as wives and mothers. As we discussed in the post on careers outside the home, "There is no greater measure of [the woman's] worth or success as a woman than the extent to which she serves as the heart of her home." p. 127 While there is nothing innately wrong with pursuing a career or having other hobbies, if God has given you a husband (and possibly children), you have no higher calling. You are to be a servant to that family above all else. And you are to do it with all that you have.

In a recent post on Generation Cedar, there was a link to a document called the True Woman Manifesto, in which this statement is made: "Men and Women are both created in the image of God and are equal in value and dignity, but they have distinct roles and functions in the home and in the church." Somehow, women have lost sight of their distinct roles and functions that God commanded, which have not changed in the last 2000 years despite popular opinion. Your mission field is your home. Are you serving there as Christ would serve, or are you too focused on chasing a career to meet the true needs of your family? There are times when we have no choice but to work, and having a "job" is not a crime; but when that job becomes the passion of your life, and you are now turning to your husband to help you accomplish your agenda instead of seeking to serve him, you have strayed from the path God laid out for you as a wife and mother.

DeMoss had this to say about her own mother and the "shallow" life she lived as a housewife: "Many women today would consider this lifestyle oppressive. But my mother was far from downtrodden. To the contrary, my father cherished and highly esteemed the partner God placed by his side and delighted to see her maximize her God-given potential and abilities." p. 145

"We are never more like Jesus than when we are serving Him or others. There is no higher calling than to be a servant." p. 144

For our generation, and even our mothers' generation, it goes against every fiber of our being to say that the life of a housewife is far more valuable and fulfilling than any career could ever afford us, because it has been so ingrained in our heads that to live the biblical, godly life is outdated and shallow, and that we are to serve no one, especially a man. And as hard as it may be to go against the grain of society, WE MUST USE SCRIPTURE AS OUR RULEBOOK, not the godless voices of countless feminists. The Bible is very clear about the SPECIFIC roles of the wife and mother, and it is our job to obey ALL those commands, not just the ones we like. How can you serve your husband today? How can you serve your children? If you are not married, how can you be a servant to someone in the church? We are all called to be servants. Go and serve!

"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.'" Genesis 2:18

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